How Families Can Receive Returnees From South Africa with Love
Returning home after being forced to leave South Africa can be an emotional and difficult experience. For some returnees, coming home may bring relief because they are reunited with family. For others, it may bring embarrassment, disappointment, financial pressure and uncertainty about what comes next.
This is where family matters.
The first few days and weeks after returning can shape how a person begins to rebuild. Families can either make the returnee feel like a failure, or remind them that home is still a place where they are loved, valued and accepted.
The Bible gives us principles that can guide families in creating that kind of welcome.
1. Welcome Them Before You Question Them
When someone returns, the natural reaction may be to ask:
“What happened?”
“Why were you sent back?”
“Where is the money you made?”
“What happened to your belongings?”
But sometimes, the person first needs to hear:
“Welcome home. We are glad you are here.”
The story can come later.
Jesus’ story of the prodigal son gives us a powerful picture of a father who saw his son returning and ran to welcome him.
“So he got up and went to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and was filled with compassion for him; he ran to his son, threw his arms around him and kissed him.” — Luke 15:20 (NIV)
The father did not begin by interrogating his son.
He welcomed him.
Families can learn from this. Before asking what happened in South Africa, make sure the returnee knows that they are wanted at home.
2. Listen Without Turning Their Story Into a Courtroom
Some returnees may want to talk immediately. Others may need time.
Their experiences may involve difficult memories, loss, discrimination, unemployment, separation from loved ones or the sudden disruption of their lives.
Don’t force them to explain everything.
Instead, create an environment where they know:
“When you are ready to talk, I am here to listen.”
“Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” — James 1:19 (NIV)
Listening does not mean agreeing with everything they say.
It means giving them enough space to tell their story without immediately judging, correcting or blaming them.
Sometimes what a returnee needs most is not advice, they simply need someone who will listen.
3. Don’t Make Them Feel Like They Failed
One of the most painful things for a returnee may be feeling that they have disappointed their family.
Perhaps they left expecting to send money home. Perhaps relatives expected them to return with a car, build a house or start a business.
Instead, they have returned with very little.
This can create enormous shame.
Families should resist statements such as:
“You were in South Africa all those years and came back with nothing?”
Instead, ask:
“What can we do to help you start again?”
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” — Galatians 6:2 (NIV)
A family should not add to someone’s burden.
4. Give Them a Safe Place to Rebuild
Coming home does not automatically mean that everything is okay.
A returnee may be wondering:
- Where will I work?
- How will I support my children?
- What can I do now?
- Will people respect me?
- Can I start a business?
- What will my friends say?
- Have I lost everything I worked for?
Family can become the safe environment from which the person begins rebuilding.
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” — 1 Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV)
Encouragement is not pretending that everything is fine, it is helping someone believe that their current situation is not the end of their story.
5. Don’t Turn Their Return Into Family Gossip
A returnee’s story belongs to them.
Before sharing their situation with neighbours, church members, friends or extended family, consider how that might affect them.
Imagine returning home already feeling embarrassed, only to discover that everyone in the community knows what happened to you.
Families should protect the dignity of their returning loved ones.
“Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.” — 1 Peter 4:8 (NIV)
Love does not expose someone’s vulnerability for entertainment.
Love protects. Instead of discussing the returnee behind their back, create a culture where their dignity is respected.
6. Don’t Only Give Them Food—Help Them Find Their Future
Practical support is important.
A family may provide food, accommodation, clothing or transport. But long-term support also means helping the returnee think about what comes next.
Ask:
“What skills did you gain?”
“What kind of work would you like to do?”
“What can we help you start?”
“Who can we connect you with?”
The returnee may have skills and experiences that can be valuable back home.
“Each of you should use whatever gift you have received to serve others, as faithful stewards of God’s grace in its various forms.” — 1 Peter 4:10 (NIV)
Their journey may have been difficult, but it may also have given them skills, resilience and experience. Help them see what they still have, not only what they have lost.
7. Remind Them: They Still Belong
Perhaps the most important message a family can communicate is:
“You are still one of us.”
Circumstances may have changed.
Their finances may have changed.
Their plans may have changed.
But their value has not.
The Bible reminds us that our identity and worth ultimately come from God.
“See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God!” — 1 John 3:1 (NIV)
A returnee should not be defined by deportation, unemployment, financial loss or what happened in South Africa. They are more than what happened to them. They are a person with dignity, gifts, relationships, dreams and a future.
A Final Word to Families
If someone you love has returned from South Africa, don’t make their homecoming another source of pain.
They may already be grieving a lost job, lost possessions, lost opportunities or a dream that did not work out as planned.
Let home be different.
Let it be the place where they can breathe.
Let it be the place where they are heard without judgment, supported without shame and encouraged to begin again.
They may have returned without everything they hoped for, but they have not returned without hope.
And sometimes, the first step toward rebuilding someone’s life is simply making sure they know: